Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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