Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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