You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
