considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
