you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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