Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
