He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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