Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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