You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
