So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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