R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Randomize
