Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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