I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize