i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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