i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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