I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Two words: blizzard sex
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize