if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
