So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
