Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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