Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
