i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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