u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
