that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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