your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
