i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Two words: nipple clamps
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