I just cut my nipple shaving
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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