so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
