i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
