My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
