no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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