guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
