how can u be prego again
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize