This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
