Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
