you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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