I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
