ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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