Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My penis needs a shock collar
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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