tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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