Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
