i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
