Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
