the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
