lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
