when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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