So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
ok first of all what the fuck
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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