she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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