She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea