im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
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I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
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He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?