OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
