Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
