Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
