I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
