I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
