Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
