Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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