theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He kissed a someone with a penis
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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