Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
