Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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