In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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