i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
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we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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