Umm I'm too high to move.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
