if only i could text you this smell
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
