the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
