I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
