I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
