she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
